An Expert Gives Advice On How To Negotiate Salaries as a Woman

You may have heard women don’t negotiate their pay as often as men, furthering the gender pay gap. It turns out, this argument simply is an outdated artifact from the 20th century. Women have actually proven over the last 20 years they’re more likely to negotiate for better pay than their male counterparts, according to a 2024 study in The Academy of Management Studies. Negotiating salaries as a woman just isn’t as well rewarded. 

“That outdated belief, that women don’t ask for more, actually contributes to the gender pay gap,” explains Stefanie O’Connell Rodriguez, author of the upcoming book “The New Rules of Ambition.” “The belief is associated with reduced support for things like pay equity policies and increased gender stereotyping more broadly. So not only does this research debunk the idea that women don’t ask for more, but it also exposes the consequences of our collective buy-in to that false assumption.”

Tips for Negotiating Salaries as a Woman

Just because women aren’t rewarded as well for their negotiation efforts doesn’t mean you should shy away from them. It just means you’ll want to come into your negotiations prepared to combat these biases head on. O’Connell Rodriguez shares some tips for entering these conversations at all the various ‘firsts’ you may encounter. 

Negotiating your first salary

The No. 1 thing you’re going to want to do in any negotiation scenario is to arm yourself with data. When you’re entering the workforce for the first time, you may not have data about your own performance, but you can seek out data about your industry. Metrics O’Connell Rodriguez suggests researching include the market rate for your: 

• Position
• Location
• Educational background

She said in the process of doing this research, you can also get a feel for the company and what your future prospects there might be. If leadership tends to be male, white and Ivy League, you might not have as many opportunities for advancement if you don’t fit that mold yourself. Rather than letting that information deter you from applying for the position or negotiating for competitive compensation, O’Connell Rodriguez suggests allowing it to prepare you for what you might encounter in negotiations with the company. 

“Knowing that may allow you to feel more prepared for any backlash you get when asking for more, rather than being blindsided,” she said. “[It can help] you keep the experience in perspective and not let a biased response deter you from finding other opportunities at an organization that will champion and support your ambitions.”

She also points out that even if you aren’t able to make any progress on pay in the first meetings, those initial negotiations provide an opportunity to learn more about how to secure raises within the company in the future. Using it as an opportunity to learn about key metrics and how your management team defines ‘strong performance’ allows you to start tracking data across those areas. That could just be the difference between ‘yes’ and ‘no’ the next time you ask for more money.

Negotiating for the first time with a new employer

Maybe you’ve been in your respective field for some time, but you’re looking at making a lateral move to a new company. These first negotiations with a new-to-you management team can be nerve-wracking, too, even if you’ve got experience under your belt. 

Here, again, data is king. Any hard metrics you can bring to the table regarding your past performance and market rates for your position are going to increase your odds of success. But because you’re a woman, you’re likely going to have to approach these conversations differently. 

“Research suggests that when women communicate their asks in communal terms – using language like ‘we,’ ‘us’ and ‘our team’ – they’re more likely to have success,” explains O’Connell Rodriguez. “It also helps, especially for women and other individuals who face well-documented workplace biases, to have sponsors and people across different levels and teams who can advocate on their behalf.”

If you do hear ‘no’ the first time, she encourages you to use that ‘no’ as an opportunity to gather more data. You might ask questions like, ‘In the future, what performance metrics could I reach to secure a ‘yes?’ or, ‘Can you tell me more about why you think I might not be ready for this pay level?’

Once you know which metrics you need to reach, you can work to not only reach them, but also log the hard data you need to bring to the negotiation table during your next performance review.  

Negotiation for the first time after a resume gap

Women tend to have more resume gaps than men, typically for caregiving. Whether you’re taking care of your aging family members or your own children, it’s important to keep on top of trends in the field even if you’re not actively ‘working’ in your career. 

“The research suggests that gender biases are especially heightened when it comes to caregiving responsibilities, particularly when women become parents,” said O’Connell Rodriguez. “I think this is a critical time for women to keep their options open and to be prepared to look for opportunities at other organizations that have a track record of supporting and valuing caregivers, especially if they find themselves blocked from meaningful opportunities at their own organizations.”

Keeping on top of job listings, expectations and pay for your position across the field can help you identify those organizations should you need to switch employers after experiencing a resume gap. 

It’s Important to Keep Negotiating Salaries as a Woman

We shared some tips that can help you navigate the unfavorable climate toward negotiating salaries as a woman, but at the end of the day, try not to internalize any ‘failure’ you may experience. The problem is systemic, and it’s not your fault. Over the past 20 years – the same timeframe in which women have started negotiating at least as often if not more often than their male counterparts – Pew Research has found that the gender pay gap hasn’t budged. 

“What really demands our attention are the biases that still pervade our organizations and institutions, as opposed to the behaviors of women themselves,” said O’Connell Rodriguez. “So instead of doubling down on individual tips or tricks, I recommend looking to the potential power of collective action – particularly when it comes to challenging biases across evaluation, performance, promotion and pay criteria.”

She points to studies that have shown pay transparency policies meaningfully reduce pay gaps based on gender identity. They encourage us to act together to advocate for such policies in our workplaces and even at the national legislative level. In that way, we might see change not just for individual women, but for women as a whole. 

Pittsburgh-based writer Brynne Conroy is the founder of the Femme Frugality blog, DISABILIFINANCE and the author of “The Feminist Financial Handbook.” She is a regular contributor to The Penny Hoarder.